What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
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