i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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