names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
whose parrot is this?
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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