3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
