New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
