yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
