is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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