watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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