A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
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