If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
