he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
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I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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