Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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