Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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