No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Randomize