I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
