At least make sure they are 18
Why
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
