In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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