You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
