is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Randomize
