Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
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