There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Randomize
