Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Randomize
