Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
