whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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