I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
