i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I need a burrito and a hug.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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