YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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