Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
