Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
That accounts for only three of the penises
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
