Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
