After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
