i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
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