im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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