Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
