operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
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On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
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But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
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