I heard we made out
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
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