She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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