worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Randomize
