More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
i used baking grease as lip gloss
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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