so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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