Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize