Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
