go do what you do best...puke behind churches
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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