In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
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