is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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