is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize