my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
i will never coherently bang her
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Randomize
