Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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