awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
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