Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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