Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize