I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
