I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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