Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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