Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
