I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
