You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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