I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
