I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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