She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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