yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
