i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
we should paint friendship bongs
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