I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
