She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
they're like a gay fantastic four
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
