And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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