i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
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High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
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If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
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