My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Randomize
